More Than Just a Barbarian: Introducing Newcomers to Conan the Cimmerian

Inspired by the release of the new Conan film and a “Momoa isn’t AHNOLD” comment on Facebook, I started wondering which of Robert E. Howard's original Conan stories would be the best to introduce a newcomer to the genuine article. Not necessarily my personal favorites (although the two do mostly overlap), just which ones would provide a good sample of the original stories. Given the movie’s poor reception, it’s probably more crucial than ever to let people know there’s more to Conan than Schwarzenegger and the quest to avenge his parents. Really, there’s no reason to be limited by that when so many of Howard’s stories have straightforward plots with plenty of underlying thematic depth that could translate well to the big, or even small screen. And if there’s no faithfully-adapted film to draw people to Howard’s work, then maybe a select sample of his best stories, or at least his best Conan stories, is the alternative for getting people to realize there’s plenty of material already available without the need for an origin story. And the more interest there is in the originals, the more chance there is (hopefully) that they’ll get the treatment they deserve.

With that in mind, my criteria in picking stories were:

• Show Conan in a variety of occupations and situations, with a variety of outcomes. As conceived by Howard he was more than a muscle-bound caveman who slays the monster/(probably non-white) sorcerer and heads off into the sunset with the girl over his shoulder and the treasure under his arm every time, and one of the points of this is to show that he was far more complex and interesting than that.

• Choose ones with strong female characters. As a corollary to the above. Women in these stories weren’t always scantily-clad damsels in distress and that’s equally worth pointing out.

• They should be some of the best Conan stories plain and simple. After all, what better way to introduce something than to show how good it can be? 

This is meant to be roughly in reading order rather than a ranking of quality. Also, if you “newcomer to Robert E. Howard’s Conan” applies to you, be advised that everything after the list contains spoilers.

1.       The Phoenix on the Sword

• This one just feels like it’s meant to be read first. Not only does The Nemedian Chronicles serve as a great encapsulation of the Hyborian Age, but much of the description and characterization of Conan dwells on how he’s a barbarian among civilized men and uncomfortable with their ways, which the reader already knows if they’ve read other stories. And since it can’t help but introduce Conan and really highlight the underlying themes of the stories as a whole, having been written first, I really can’t think of a better place to start.

2.       The Tower of the Elephant

• Highlights Conan’s career as a thief and gives a different take on the way monsters and treasure are usually handled in sword-and-sorcery stories. These stories may have helped launch the genre, but they’re anything but typical, and Tower of the Elephant shows that nicely.

3.       Queen of the Black Coast

• Introduces one of Howard’s strong female characters in Bêlit, and gives us a glimpse of Conan’s intelligence and philosophical side. His speech to Bêlit is far more poetic than “crush your enemies” and alongside his relationship with her demonstrates his complexity as a character.

4.       Beyond the Black River

• This story powerfully illustrates not only the clash between civilization and barbarism that underlies many of the other stories, but also its complexity and nuances in the contrast between the situations of the Pictish natives and Aquilonian settlers, and the fact that Conan, a barbarian, is working for the civilized Aquilonians. What’s more, Conan isn’t even the main character, or the only one who performs worthy deeds.

5.       Red Nails

• We have Valeria, another strong female character who more than anyone except Bêlit is a skilled adventurer in her own right, and gets to demonstrate it in-story. It also has an effective demonstration of the savagery that lies beneath a civilized exterior, with the remnants of past glories contrasted with a bloody feud that reminds us how dangerous, and ultimately petty, they can be.

I wanted to keep it to just a few, so obviously there are some omissions that would otherwise be worthy. The Frost Giant’s Daughter, of course, because it shows Conan as a pure warrior. That is part of his character, after all, but it’s easy without a close reading to assume Conan is motivated purely by his own desire to rape Atali. Not really the best idea when giving recommendations to someone who knows nothing about him or thinks that’s all there is to his views on women. I also would’ve included Black Colossus, which does the best job of showcasing Conan as a leader of men (it didn’t make the cut because he gets the girl, but even with the outlined criteria I’m sure that’s probably a bit arbitrary), as well as People of the Black Circle, which is the best “Conan vs. sorcerers” story and shows it’s possible for women to not swoon before his rugged manliness by the end of the story.

I don’t think this would necessarily be the best introduction to Howard in general, but I still haven’t read enough of his work to make that kind of judgement. However, since Conan is his most recognizable character, maybe he’d make a good “gateway” into reading Howard?

Reread of the Hawk: Berserk, Volume 11

What Happens

Devil Dogs, Chapters 1-4

The Black Dog Knights were created during the war, when a shortage of troops forced the King to draw on the able-bodied criminals of the kingdom. Their prowess was equal to the Hawks, but they were notorious for butchery and plunder regardless of which side their victims were on, tolerated only out of need and sent to remote battlefields. Worst of all is their leader Wyald, and the King believes he isn’t even human.

A family of farmers is more than happy to help the hero Griffith by giving the Hawks a place to rest and lending them a cart, but after they leave the Black Dogs show up, killing the family but raping the women first. As they pursue the Hawks Guts breaks away to buy the others time, meaning to do it alone but offering no objection when Pippin joins him. But no matter how many they kill the Black Dogs keep coming, and Guts realizes it’s because they’re afraid of Wyald, who steps up to fight Guts and stops his sword bare-handed. Guts realizes Wyald’s giving off the same feeling he got from Zodd and the Skull Knight.

Breaking away from the fight, Guts and Pippin make it over the nearby bridge just as Casca sets off the barrels of gunpowder they planted underneath. Many of the Black Dogs are killed, and the others are reluctant to follow directly when the rest of the road is likely booby-trapped as well, but the thrill-seeking Wyald scares them into action, exulting as he plows through every trap the Hawks have set.

They reach Corkus and the rest of the rescue team, and Guts challenges Wyald while the others fight his men. Wyald mentions hearing about Guts from Zodd, which confirms the latter’s suspicions. It takes everything Guts has to stand against him, yet he’s fighting by pure reflex.

Reread of the Hawk: Berserk, Volume 10

What Happens

Sparks From a Sword Tip

For the past year, Guts has been living in the mountains with a man named Godo, who’s been a blacksmith all his life but has never questioned why he does it. However, seeing the sparks when he hammers iron makes him feel like he’s seeing his life before his eyes. Hearing this, Guts draws a parallel to what happens when he swings his sword in battle, and he realizes that’s truly the life for him.

                                                                                      

Back in the present, Casca asks Guts is he’s back for good, but he isn’t – only long enough to rescue Griffith. She gets angry over that, complaining that he’s just like Griffith, thinking only of himself and his dream. Then he suggests she come with him when the rescue’s over.

Reread of the Hawk: Berserk, Volume 9

What Happens

Knight of Skeleton

Camping alone in the woods, Guts encounters a mysterious stranger – a knight with a skull-shaped helmet who gives Guts, whom he calls the “Struggler,” a warning: in one year the Eclipse will occur, when Guts and all his friends will be gathered together with “those yet unseen of the fleshless flesh” to face a death they cannot escape.

It is raining back in Windham as Griffith is admitted to Princess Charlotte’s room through the window. She tries to tell him about the emotional turmoil she’s been through in the past half-year, what with his departure for battle and the death of her stepmother, but Griffith just kisses her.

Conan vs. Khal Drogo - Either way, it'd be one hell of a fight

As of the Game of Thrones panel at ComicCon this past weekend Jason Momoa is now on record as staying that in a fight between Khal Drogo and Conan the Cimmerian, “Drogo would kick Conan’s ass.” This doesn’t seem to have evoked much opposition at the panel itself, but there’s since been some discussion on whether that’s a smart thing for Momoa to say in light of the upcoming Conan film. Should he be saying that a character he’s already played could beat up the character he’s playing in the film he’s supposed to be promoting right now?

From a marketing/PR perspective it certainly doesn’t help a film for the lead actor to say, even indirectly, that he doesn’t have confidence in the character he’s playing, especially if, as noted above, Conan’s the star of the film, whereas Khal Drogo is really only a secondary character unlikely to be seen again. I won’t presume to know whether he was genuinely speaking his mind or just being polite to Martin, or if it was a well-considered or simply spur-of-the-moment response, but I will say that he clearly enjoyed playing Drogo (based on his response; I haven’t seen the TV series yet, much to my frustration) and probably didn’t want to do him any disservice.

This post makes a good point in arguing that he could’ve done that by calling it a draw. Then again, calling the fight a draw might feel like a cop-out, and given the high-profile nature of the venue, it does kinda put him under pressure to give a straight answer. Although it’s true that we haven’t seen any real demonstration of Drogo’s prowess in the books (his fight from the TV series being an original scene; apparently it was Momoa’s idea (3:23 p.m.)), only hearsay and the praise of others, but I doubt, and certainly hope, that Martin didn’t mean it to be false. It definitely is smarter to promote what’s coming over what’s already finished, but regardless of who won I’m sure it’d be extremely close either way. It definitely feels like they’d be well-matched opponents, so it’s not like Momoa would be impugning on Drogo’s prowess if he went with Conan. Given Conan’s larger, more well-established legacy, he could always say that it’s a case of “beaten by the best.”

Maybe this will hurt the reputation of the Conan film, maybe it’ll all just be a splash in the pond that’s forgotten come August 19^th, maybe Momoa will change his mind at a later event; I don't think it matters a great deal. These “who would win?” arguments are, after all, primarily a matter of personal preference and taste, but we’ll inevitably get the wider fandom’s take on this match-up come the 2012 Suvudu Cage Match. It was probably gonna happen already, but I’d say now it definitely is.

Reread of the Hawk: Berserk, Volume 8

What Happens

The Battle for Doldrey, Chapters 5-6

Despite the paralyzing effect of the poison Casca manages to kill Sir Adon. Outside, Guts finds himself unhorsed, his sword split in two by Boscogn’s pole-axe. Then a large, cleaver-like sword drops from the heavens (thrown from a nearby clifftop by an unseen Zodd). Guts uses it to simultaneously decapitate Boscogn and his horse, and the defenders are thrown into a panic when they see the flag of the Hawks flying from Doldrey’s ramparts.

With Doldrey fallen the Holy Purple Rhino Knights retreat in disarray. Gennon pleads with Griffith, begging him to remember the night they shared together. But Griffith tells Gennon he feels nothing at all for him, he was only a tool to be used and discarded, and kills him. As the Hawks celebrate their victory, Zodd reflects that the time of the Eclipse will soon be at hand as he takes his leave.

Reread of the Hawk: Berserk, Volume 7

What Happens

Casca, Chapter 3

Following her rescue, Casca managed to make a life for herself as a mercenary. The fledgling Band of the Hawk continued to grow as it won victories on the battlefield, the men inspired by their heroic commander who retained a boyish innocence in spite of his achievements. But, as Casca would soon realize, his life was much darker beneath the surface.

The Hawks had found employment with a wealthy lord whose taste for young boys was an open secret. One night Casca spotted a (shirtless) Griffith on a nearby balcony, and saw the nobleman take him inside. The next morning she found him down at the river, tormented by what he had done but insisting he needed the money, and satiating a nobleman’s deviant lusts was better than earning it by fighting more battles; that would only cost them more troops, and the fact that so many already died helping him achieve his dream is tormenting him enough. It was then that Casca, awed by the strength of his conviction, vowed to give everything she had for him.